Sometimes I find it very frustrating dealing with people, and I don’t mean those assholes which I am all prepared for but someone I labeled as help-hole.

If you know what is askhole, then you will be able to guess what is a help-hole. And if you don’t know what is askhole, let me have the liberty in explaining it to you…

A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

Now, a help-hole is someone who will constantly ask for your help and then when you are helping them, they do not respond, or sometimes they don’t show up at all.

Let me give you the following scenarios which I had had the unfortunate opportunity to experience myself.

One day, a friend was asking me to help him to go to a mechanic together to pressure the mechanic to do up his car as soon as possible. Also an added advantage I have is that I can speak the mechanic’s language (meaning Cantonese, while my friend can’t speak a word of it but fluent in English and Malay). So we were making plans on the time and location to meet up, and I had to shift a few of my appointments to accommodate him into my schedule so that I can go to the mechanic together.

When the time came, I called him after my appointment. No answer. 

I waited for few minutes, and called again. No answer.

From 1pm until 6pm, I called many times but no answer. That was last week and until today, he still didn’t reply my text or my phone call.

I don’t know, but if I needed help, I would be there early just to make sure I won’t be late when my friend or someone who’s giving me a helping hand wanted to give me a hand. I won’t make that person wait for me and instead, I would rather be the one waiting as an expression of appreciation.

And then, there’s another scenario.

I had a client who needed my help in doing work for them, and I agreed despite the tedious nature of the help he was asking. Basically he wanted me to create the content of his website and also the whole sitemap, which can be really time consuming. After started off the project, I was told again and again to wait for his response, which I did, and when he finally got the time, he placed an intern to direct me on what to change and how to change it.

First of all, I am a professional and I do what I do best in earning a living, and yet he asked an intern to be above me, telling me what to do. I refused, and my client gave me a stern warning. I did a simplified table on the client’s pricing and the intern was giving me a flow chart of the pricing, which I couldn’t understand. So that took a bit of time to resolve and finally, after making a test group comprised of their clients, they all agreed that they way I made the pricing structure is way more easier to understand, and they finally agreed to go ahead with my plan.

After that, it was constant waiting and they just rejected my ideas and demos, saying that it is not up to their standard. After that, they became busy and didn’t respond so I just waited since they told me I need their approval to go ahead with my ideas.

Finally, after a few months, this client called and told me he will find someone else to do the project because he “needed someone who can take the project off his hands since he’s so busy and create the content without his constant involvement.”

I was like, WTF?

I was doing fine and I was doing a damn good job before he decided to butt in to take control, and because of his constant involvement, the project was delay again and again until it has been more than a year in dragging, and now I get the blame that I couldn’t deliver because I needed his involvement.

That’s what I get in agreeing to help out a client. I ended up getting insulted for my professionalism.

Anyway, that doesn’t matter anymore because now I have learned my lessons. I won’t be giving people a hand that easily in the future. If you wanted my help, make damn sure you need it because if I were to go out to help you out and you don’t respond, that will be the only fucking chance you have and I won’t respond next time even if you ask me nicely.

So adios, all the help-holes.

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Just a simple person, entrepreneur, workaholic, car enthusiastic, watch person and an aging man who reads a lot.

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